I spend my days teaching frogs how to play the drums, so you can imagine that I don’t have much time for bullshit. It goes without saying then that I don’t enjoy picking up my eZone packages at the post office. Picking up a package and having to wait 39 hours in line is bad enough, but it gets even worse when your items are bonded.
eZone: * tells Dave that his item, which includes an invoice, is bonded *
Dave: * emails invoice 3 times *
* item is still bonded *
Dave: * spoons with an anaconda *
I had to go pick up an envelope last week. I knew it was going to suck badger testicles – the previous week I had to pick up 4 packages, a process that nearly brought me to tears – but it ended up being even worse than I thought.
I entered the post office on what I hoped to be a quiet Thursday afternoon. There were 41 people in front of me. An hour and a half later, I had 27 people in front of me. I decided to leave and to go back the next morning. When I arrived Friday morning at 8 am, I got number 31. The counter showed number 6. At 8.30 am, the counter was at 8.
I decided to leave and to return in the afternoon. I didn’t expect it to be less busy, but I had no choice. I really needed that document before the weekend. When I came back at 3 pm, I had 48 people in front of me. There was no place to sit. It reaked of death and depression. At about 4 pm, the guard asked how many of the remaining people have bonded items. About 10 people raised their bleeding hands. The guard told them to come back Monday, because the customs lady – the one who has to look at your bonded items – was going home. To say that things got tense is an understatement.
Old lady: “I have been sitting here for 3 hours. And now you’re telling me that I have to come back on Monday?”
Guard: * stares of into infinity *
Guard: * divides by zero *
Old lady: * leaks government tax information *
One poor girl refused to leave, because her item should have never been bonded. She told the guy behind the counter that she already emailed the invoice 3 times and that it was ridiculous that her item was still bonded. The dude smiled, he nodded, he feigned interest and told her that he’d make a note of it.
This right here is eZone’s main problem. Items get bonded, the poor customs lady gets swamped, people have to wait even longer and a bloody knife fight breaks out. Even tough I felt bad for the people who just waisted an entire afternoon, I was happy that half of the room emptied out. It didn’t really matter though, as I still had to wait for another hour for my turn. Eventually I left at 5.15 pm with my package. Life never looked more bleak.
But things are supposed to change. I received an email from eZone on Tuesday, where they inform customers about a new and more efficient way of working. Thanks to their ‘Package Pre-Alert’, you can now log in to getezone.com and submit the package information of your bonded item so that things get processed faster.
This has to be done before arrival of your shipment in Curacao, which is within 24 hours that you have received the Alert e-mail from eZone Miami indicating that your shipment was received without an invoice and consequently has the ‘BONDED’ status.
You can also email or fax this info, but we all know how effective that is.
Will Package Pre-Alert improve the current horrible system? Well, it can’t get any worse than it already is, so we can only go up from here I suppose. And we’re already off to a better start than we were with that eZ Shopper debacle.*
* yes, I’m reaching