It’s a known fact that Curacao is still playing catch up when it comes to the web and web related services. Our government, our top level domain and our hospital are just a few of the painful examples I can give. Sadly, our post office (NPNA) also wants to be a part of this conversation.
The same people who brought us bbuyzzz.com (it’s impossible to have a more ridiculous name than that) have just released eZ Shopper, a new service that allows you to buy stuff from websites that don’t accept international credit cards. The idea is nice, but the execution is about as “Curacao” as it gets.
Pay attention kids, this is how NOT to promote your new product. The strategy included puns, grammatical errors, a fatal flaw and complete and utter confusion. It all started yesterday when eZone sent out an email, introducing clients to eZ Shopper…
Dear valued E Zone customer,
We are very pleased and excited to present you with our new personal shopper service eZ Shopper.
This new service will allow you to access all those websites that will not:
· Accept international credit cards
· Ship to your E Zone address because it is registered as a Freight Forwarder.
· Process your transaction for any reason
Sites like Best Buy, Home Depot, Target, Walmart, BrandsMart and so many more are now available for you to shop on. eZ Shopper will do the shopping for you.
All you have to do is shop like normal on these websites, once you have added everything you would like to your cart:
1. Copy the URL address of your CART (Ed. note: Maybe I’m stupid, but this won’t work. Ever.)
2. Paste it in an email addressed to email@example.com
3. We will email you an invoice with the amount you owe. Take this invoice to your nearest E Zone agency.
4. Once we are notified that the invoice has been paid, your eZ Shopper will purchase the items you have chosen.
It’s that eZ !!! (Ed. note: Yup, they used clever word play)
There is an automatic processing fee of $10 usd on every purchase.
Want to place the order yourself, contact your local E Zone agent and ask about our new eZ Pay visa card.
You should only be able to see the contents of a shopping cart if you are logged into a particular website. Sending the url to eZ Shopper won’t work, because they’ll have to be logged into your account. Adding products to a cart while not logged in is not an option either, as nothing gets saved into a database. You don’t even get some sort of unique url, which can be used to see which products are in your cart. The only other option, besides giving them your log in credentials, is to email each product url seperately (with additional info like size, color, etc).
I decided to mail back and I asked if this was a mistake. It had to be, right?
A few hours later, I got this response…
NPNA want to apologize that due the circumstances beyond our control this EZ shopper service is not applicable at this moment in time.
As soon as it is introduce we will inform you via email.
Christ on a trampoline, why did you email me yesterday then? Wasn’t it to inform me that the service was available?
And btw, let me fix that for you.
NPNA want to apologize that due the circumstances beyond our control this EZ shopper service is not applicable at this moment in time. As soon as it is introduce we will inform you via email. Due to circumstances beyond our control, the eZ Shopper service is momentarily not available. We will inform you via email as soon as it is introduced. Our apologies for the inconvenience.
There. That’s better.
I then decided to check their Facebook page, which showed the following…
yes the service is available in Curacao as well
That’s quality trolling right there, son. I’ve sent them another email and I’ll be updating as soon as I have more information.
For now, here’s a picture of Lobster Dog.
UPDATE: A reader posted a link to this article on their Facebook page. Here’s what they had to say…
Thank you for your comments. Our plan is to create a simple order sheet on the Ezone website for you to fill out and submit. Hope to have it up and running by early next week.
Ok, that sounds better. But I still don’t get why that first email was sent out on Wednesday. And thank you for not replying me second email…
* picks fight with porcupine *